Personal Massager
by Silent Epiphany
Summary: The fic that should have been titled, "Be Careful What You Put in a Search Bar"; AKA Marluxia doesn't know what he's actually searching for and gets more than he bargained for. Marluxia-centric, with vaguely implied Demyx/Marluxia and explicit mention of established AkuRoku. T for mention of sex toys. Could be a chapter two coming, maybe...?


Being hunched over a laptop for any extended period of time, Marluxia was quickly finding, was a mistake. Unfortunately, he'd been at it for hours now, sitting on a sofa in one of the organization headquarters' many common areas. And his neck and back were starting to make their complaints known.

For the umpteenth time, the nobody straightened himself, feeling and hearing pops and crackles in response. Sure it helped, but only to a minor degree; the tension and ache was still there long after even his best efforts to work loose his broad shoulders, as time had proven. In desperation, a gloved hand worked its way under pink shag to find the back of his neck, gingerly rubbing at it to no avail. Marluxia hissed under his breath at its ineffectiveness.

"Hey! You look like you could use a massage! You know, a backrub?" A chipper voice commented as Demyx entered the room, and promptly took a seat on the sofa next to his cohort. His gloved fingers were up and at the ready in the next instant, all-too-eager to be helpful.

But of course, Marluxia wasn't about to be handled by someone like Demyx. No - what he needed was a pair of skilled, precise hands; delicate, but strong enough to get the job done, and done right the first time. Promptly, too. So, stepping carefully over what his fellow organization member had said, the pink-haired nobody pulled up a search bar on the computer in his lap and began typing.

 _Search for: personal massager_. And, enter.

What _that_ search brought up, neither of them could have anticipated. Two sets of eyes narrowed at the results-and boy, were there a _lot_ of them!-but none were people offering the services needed.

"Ridiculous," Marluxia dismissed sharply, "these aren't personal massagers at all! They're... some kind of frivolous motorized wands!" As far as the eye could see, too; no matter how far down he scrolled. Irritated, he was just about ready to angrily slam the device closed, if not for a familiar voice ghosting into the room from behind his seat.

"Whoa, whoa-what did I just walk in on?" Axel melodramatically shielded his eyes for effect, but kept moving closer anyway. Marluxia and Demyx together, looking at _vibrators?_ No way was he missing this. In fact, if he was smart, he'd be selling tickets. "We all have _needs_ , but-"

Marluxia gladly steamrolled over the other's rambling. "And mine consist of a personal massager." Subtext embedded in his tone clearly conveying, _Not you, either._

"Obviously," the redhead remarked with a short, knowing scoff. Hoisting himself over the back of the couch, Axel plopped down on its cushions with a soft _whump_. From there, he happily pasted himself to the pink-haired nobody's unoccupied side, if only for the vaguely-put-off expression he knew he'd get in reply to such _un_ _warranted closeness_. "But you're looking in all the wrong places."

A long, black-clad arm then came up to rest along the top of the sofa as he leaned in as though he had a plan. And, Axel being Axel, of course he did. "What _you_ need, Marly, is something... _different."_ A free hand waved dismissively at the laptop screen. "Nothing like these."

Marluxia looked equal parts put-out by the imparting of knowledge he already had, and the use of a nickname he didn't authorize. Demyx, meanwhile, was genuinely, innocently curious. "How do you know about personal massagers, Axel?"

This was the point where Axel pushed to his feet, standing before the pair with head smugly cocked, his posture characteristically lax and lazy.

"Me?" his weight shifted casually to one hip. "Because I am one." Delivered with expected nonchalance.

In stark contrast, the others on the couch looked stunned, to different degrees.

"You?!" Demyx repeated, eyes wide and mouth somewhat agape.

"For whom?" Marluxia disbelievingly spat, squinting suspiciously.

Axel's grin bordered on predatory, eyes mere slices of lime green. "Roxas."

That expression, however, melted with marked quickness as a voice from behind the redhead unexpectedly _answered_.

"What?"

Silence fell, except for the sound of Axel unconsciously swallowing. Without moving his feet, he twisted and craned back to see a head of tousled blond hair poking out from around one of the doorways to the room... and a nonplussed stare to match.

Immediately and unconsciously, a hand buried itself into the back of a nest of red spikes. "I was just tellin' Marly and Dem that I'm your _personal massager_ ," and some semblance of Axel's previous expression slowly returned, one corner of his lips curling upward mischievously as Roxas stubbornly refused to respond. _"...Riiight?"_

For a face that glowered so noticeably in reply, one couldn't have anticipated such an obvious, striking brush of pink across otherwise pale cheeks. Marluxia and Demyx, however, weren't afforded more than a glance at it before Roxas turned on a heel and left the room without a single word.

"Roxas! Hey, Roxas, wait! Come back!" The same chipper voice as before called after the retreating member as Demyx bounced up from the sofa to give chase.

Axel folded his arms over his chest and shook his head at the pair, chuckling under his breath. Oh well - he supposed that just made this the perfect time to talk to his pink-haired cohort privately and finish the final touches on that plan of his. Except this time, Marluxia chose to cut the redhead off once more only just after he'd inhaled... and with the most brutal words possible:

"He doesn't seem too pleased with your services."

Axel nearly choked, sputtered, scrabbling for moments at what to say. "You-!" Long arms came out, gesturing for emphasis as he finally landed on something. "Roxas is _completely_ satisfied with me-...my services!"

Marluxia looked skeptical, if only to enhance the effect of his words on his fellow nobody. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, _that's so!"_ Axel repeated mockingly.

A cleverly-placed pause, and then:

"...I'd confirm that, if I were you."

"What?" That wasn't a legitimate question, of course. The redhead puffed out another short, sharp breath before placing his hands on his hips, leaning forward for effect, as if it was going to have any. "Fine-you know what? I will!"

"Right now?"

"Yeah, right now!"

Blue eyes turned impassively back down to the glowing laptop screen. "Then I'll look forward to his report when you're finished."

With that, Axel was gone... and Marluxia selected his personal favorite of the curious search results from before, and clicked the little blue button below it that said _Order Now._


End file.
